ESPN: The Size of a Man's Dog Does is NOT Indicative of His Penis Size

Courtesy Google Images

During Wednesday's Lakers game the ESPN commentators could not stop wailing about the tragedy that Kobe Bryant was seen in this photo with a little dog. They ranted, wept and prayed for someone to "say it isn't so" that such a "macho" guy would have a lap dog. They lamented that any dog that could be "cradled" in one's arms was not an acceptable companion for such a man as Kobe.

Finally, to their relief, Kobe contacted them during half time and comforted the hysterical commentators with the news that he had 4 dogs - two of which were German Shepherds. The commentators were outright thanking the almighty for this proof that the world is right again - that- their hero had 2 "manly" dogs which generously excused the presence of the little dog.

First, the size of a man's dog is not indicative of the size of his penis. Second, let's not force men into behaving in projected stereotypical ways. Strong men can be kind and gentle to children and other vulnerable  living beings without sacrificing their masculinity. And third, would these sports "experts" suggest that Michael Vick was the better example of a real man?

Michael Vick to Testify Before Congress and Denounce Dog-Fighting

Michael Vick, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback, and luckiest felon in America, was convicted of state and federal laws related to dog fighting. Upon his release from prison, while still on probation and playing football, Vick has been declaring himself rehabilitated, decrying dog fighting and touting the importance of being kind to animals. To that end, Vick is appearing on Capitol Hill to voice his support for H.R. 2492, a bill that would "prohibit knowing attendance at organized animal fights" and penalize those who cause minors to attend as well.

dog fight victim-Google images

Animal fighting is a gruesome blood sport where typically dogs or cocks are trained to fight each other to the death. It is also financially lucrative as admission fees, gambling winnings, breeding fees and sales of game and training paraphernalia are a big business. There is a huge amount of collateral animal abuse ancillary to the training and treatment of the animals leading up to and including the actual fights. Youngsters are frequently present at fights if not actually staging them.

Dog-fighting and cockfighting are crimes in virtually every state in the country as are animal cruelty, endangering the welfare of a child, and gambling. Some states (like New York and California) also make it a crime to be a knowing spectator at such an event. There is also a federal prohibition against animal fighting as well under the Animal Welfare Act which does not cover spectators. Spectators are considered accomplices and enablers in and of the illegal activity as an audience is necessary for the fights to be profitable.

Vick is appearing with representatives from the Humane Society of the United States (HSUS), an organization neither related to nor an umbrella entity for any other humane society, to espouse his new disapproval of the "sport" and to urge passage of the bill. The unholy symbiotic alliance between Vick and HSUS, has generated controversy in and of itself as to the optics, and motives of such a partnership, and one would hope that it would not detract from the importance of passing H.R. 2492.

Article first published as Michael Vick to Testify Before Congress and Denounce Dog-Fighting on Technorati.

Michael Vick, The Luckiest Felon in America, Wants a Dog for Christmas

Michael Vick is the luckiest felon in America. After being convicted of dog fighting and serving time in jail, he still keeps his job, earns millions, is fought over by media organizations and media hungry charities, and continues to live the American Dream as star NFL quarterback and possible MVP. What kid in jail for stealing an iPod gets the same mercy?

But he wants something he cannot now buy - a dog! (He is prohibited by virtue of his sentencing agreements to do so.) What is interesting to me about this is the universal schizophrenia displayed by dog fighters and cock fighters alike, which is simply - the way they treat their pets is different than the way they view what is going on in the ring.  I have been in the animal welfare enforcement business forever and have been present at numerous dog and bird fights. Without exception, the fighters tell me - "Animal cruelty? I would never be cruel to my dog - these dogs are business, like to fight, are not real dogs." In fact, many animal fighters have family pets they would not think of raising their voices at. They usually assert that I simply don't understand.

This, however, is not a distinction manifested by juvenile fighters, especially those who look up to Vick. They lack compassion for pets as well, and actually fight their pets believing that they are emulating a hero. This makes life a lot worse for a lot of dogs.

Vick wants a pet dog - proving that he still doesn't understand the extent and nuances of the crime and why the ban is imposed. He asserts he is cured and that the proof of that is his assertion. No doubt the luckiest felon in America feels like a victim.

If this is his Hail Mary sympathy Christmas play i.e. the dog is for my family - not just me. Forget about it. My dad always says - "If you're looking for sympathy, it's between sh-t and syphilis in the dictionary."